Unemployment, Food Stamps, and the Myths of a “Good” Job
Erika and Patrick in 2013
Sharing this isn’t easy. Reading it may be not easy, either. There’s a certain stigma that comes with unemployment, food stamps, and financial hardship, especially when people assume that certain jobs or situations should make us immune to these struggles. But in the spirit of honesty, I’ve decided to make this public anyway. I want to break down those walls and show that this can happen to anyone, even if you’ve done everything ‘right.’ My hope is that by sharing this part of our journey, others may feel less alone in their own struggles—and that we can all move past assumptions and start seeing people for who they truly are.
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In early 2013, Patrick and I were freshly engaged and excitedly preparing for our May wedding. In April, however, Patrick lost his job due to the government shutdown. It turned into a 10-month stint of unemployment. Icing on the cake? His job loss came after mine. I was laid off from my job at Nationwide Insurance in 2012 due to departmental restructuring. Luckily for me, I had a successful part time side gig, so I used that as an opportunity to go full time with full time self-employment.
At some point after Patrick was furloughed, we applied for food stamps and were denied. We later applied again and were denied again. We kept being told that our expenses didn’t count and that they were non-essential. The only expenses they would consider were rent and utilities. Things like our cell phone, internet, and student loan bills were disregarded. We were super discouraged, but we pressed on because we were Millennials and that’s the only thing we knew how to do.
Fast forward to 2025
I resigned from my position as an elementary school teacher at the end of the 2024 school year. Patrick unexpectedly lost his job as a government contractor at the end of January 2025. Unemployment does not pay a livable wage and we’ve applied for food stamps/SNAP benefits again. As a part of the application, Patrick had to schedule a followup phone call with a benefits coordinator. The phone call was scheduled for Friday at 2:00 PM and the call never came. When we tried to call the office at 4:45 PM, it had already closed. Ugh. We went back into the system and scheduled another call for Monday.
Upcoming job interview
A couple of days ago, Patrick received an offer to interview for a job that he thought he was no longer in the running for because he had received an email already telling him that! Well, as luck would have it, it’s open again. He confirmed with the company and the interview is on! I/we don’t know anything about the company but I’m excited about the chance of something positive coming out of it. It’s funny how I can be excited about someone else’s interview, but if this was mine, I’d be terrified and there would be no detectable excitement in my soul until the thing was over.
Assumptions about our financial status
This always hits harder when we're struggling, but the moment people hear that Patrick works in tech, the assumptions about our financial situation start piling up.
This happened to me just the other day. An acquaintance was asking about Patrick, learned that he lost his job, and asked what kind of work he does. I said, “he does computer work.” Their immediate response was, “Oh! So very good money!” This comment always makes me die inside due to the assumptions about us that it creates. I try my best to accept that other people can be wrong about us, but it does pain me still. These are the assumptions that I think people have about us when they find out that Patrick does IT work:
We can live comfortably on his income alone (false). Patrick actually made less than I did as a first year teacher.
We probably have a lot of money either in our bank account or in savings (false)
His job probably offered great and/or affordable heath insurance (false to both). His company didn’t contribute to health insurance premiums, so it would have been around $1,400/month to insure us both. I carried insurance for us while working as a teacher, but it was unaffordable to maintain via COBRA upon parting ways. We do not have health insurance right now.
These assumptions might make people think even though we are unemployed, we are okay financially. Or maybe people think that the impact of being unemployed is less on us because we’re coming from alleged “cushy” jobs? I don’t know, but it puts a pit in my stomach to think about.
Unemployment
Patrick will receive $430/week ($1,720/month) before taxes in unemployment. Right now, it’s held up for “verification.” Our rent in Gaithersburg, Maryland, is $2,310/month. Obviously, we have more bills than just rent, so you can see how there’s little relief in expecting unemployment pay and why we applied for temporary assistance with groceries.
Wrap Up
Writing this is not to attract sympathy or pity. Rather, it’s a glimpse into what a couple of 40-something year olds are experiencing as we navigate this thing called life. We will be fine. After all, we are Millennials. It’s not the first time we’ve been knocked down. That said, the older we get, the more and more we hope that it’s the last time.
We’re tired, but we keep going—because, well, that’s what we do.
Update, about a week later
We are relieved to report that we were approved for food stamps, aka SNAP benefits. On the interview front, unfortunately, Patrick received an email the day before letting him know they needed to cancel due to impacts caused by the recent political dumpster fire.
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May awareness inspire compassion,
Erika
